AWP 2010: Flarf VS. Conceptual Writing panel presentation

Schizopolis: The New Argument for Argument's Sake?

I have said elsewhere and quite grammatically, "Rather than make it knew, I prefer to make it known."

I am pretty much the middle presenter smack dab-in-the-eye of this panel... for reasons that I hope will become apparent to both you and me.

I am going to begin with a brief quote, then present a short list of three Facts and three Opinions and then a few comments and arguments on or about The New Poetics which we all seem to be addressing here this morning and which I hope may help us see how this argument or, that is, the VS. in Flarf VS. Conceptual Writing might eventually clear itself up or simply go away.

a quote from "Jack"
"We stand on the edge of The New Frontier—The New Frontier of unfulfilled hopes and dreams, a frontier of unknown opportunities and beliefs in peril." —John Fitzgerald Kennedy from his acceptance speech in the 1960 United States presidential election to the Democratic National Convention at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum

Notice that 1960 is very nearly exactly 50 years ago.

#1 and this is for you Mr. Harold Abramowitz. The New Frontier is an Eisner, Harvey, and Shuster Award-winning, six-issue comic book, limited series, written and drawn by Darwyn Cooke and published by DC Comics. The New Frontier takes viewers on an action-packed adventure, exploring the origins of the Justice League. In the 1950s, The New Generation of superheroes must join forces with the community's active veterans and a hostile US government to fight a menace to the Earth. The New Frontier Lounge has a great selection of beer, wine, food, spirits and music.

#2 We have here assembled the basic elements of an activity session.

#3 The New Company in cooperation with The Present Company has developed The New Friction Surface Modifier, the friction re-vitalizer!

#1 Wall street folks knew the risks they took, but in my opinion, did not care who had to clean up, pay, or suffer from their greed. It's part of The New American Business Cycle.

#2 Our website is The New Website. Let us know what you think, it can also be used for screening and its dense, narrow growth requires less trimming.

#3 "Regurgitation is The New Uncreativity; instead of creation, we honor, cherish and embrace manipulation and repurposing."

Ok, so before I launch into my brief comments, I'd like to make one other statement.
I foresee a narrow win in this Conceptual Writing VS. Flarf thing after months of hard-nosed negotiations over various possibilities most likely culminating in an unprecedentedly dense militarism. Well aware of the suspicions that any kind of “coherence” or "re-conciliation" might inevitably narrow our opportunities, I argue that connections are being made among the unprecedentedly diverse experiences and expectations of our unprecedentedly broad audience—our audience which is so dense and so very able to contain tensions, incoherencies and inconsistencies.

Brief Arguments:
Flarf Sux because it inherently promotes capitalism. Let me be clear, when I say Flarf, I mean the Florida Ren Fest. Trust me, I can talk about how much Flarf Sux. And then Drew Gardner and Gary Sullivan can write nasty things about me. That's fine, I went to the Florida Renaissance Festival web site and read the FlaRF Rulez & Regulations. Please read The New FlaRF Rulez & Regulations carefully, there are changes from last year.

As far as how it's affected The New Writing, I'd like to say that I think this is a very nice talk expressing the importance of Writing. We may use different words to describe the same concept, but other than for “conceptual purity” or something, it doesn't really matter. Though, a reader can become confused when a concept and an instance of it are blurred, Conceptual writing or uncreative writing is a poetics of the moment.

Question: What is The best New Eco Book on the Market? Answer, How do you Make Compost?

The author of The New Departures, a poetic adventure of sensual ecstasy, and an explorer of a humanity beyond, writes in his first language. “When I was a child, 'Ecstasy,' a song by The New Order from their 1983 album Power, Corruption & Lies tripped me out and made we wonder, is plant food The New Ecstasy?" The eighth stanza of the first poem in his book states that The New State of Ecstasy "un-perplexes" or simplifies things, and once inter-animated The New Soul can repair the defects of each of the individual souls.
[pause - disgusted look]
Conceptual Writing Sux. It's just one dumb ass writing out his wet dreams because Conceptual Writing Sux. You see, the artists' statement is the work in a conceptual piece of art.

I don't accept the premise that there are certain means of expression which can't be profound—oooo, so profound. What is profundity, by the bye? Such statements indicate limitation and resistance. What inherent aspect of collage, or flarf, rulez out this profundity? Once again, the rulez committee skids off-track. Rather than accept the blockade, try scrutinizing the resistance. Check In: When you arrive, check in first at the site office trailer, you'll find us just out front of the convention center. And please adhere to the Florida Ren Fest's theme by maintaining period dialect, dress, and decorum. For assistance, please see the proper, authorized individual.

We all know these books fucking suck, and Kasey et al. is absolutely fucking right, this is not good writing, just entertainment for the young kiddies who marvel at the sexiness of the cursor as it sux up words from anonymous web pages. We're all too busy writing about our subject in a way that connects with diligently appropriate conceptual frameworks. Conceptual writing has been defined by Kenneth Goldsmith as Writing and any attempt to engage with writing that directly sux you into the abyss of textual excess.

The New Kitten - mmrrrau... The New Writing - pleh... Stasis is The New Movement.

In some affective language, mouthing fish through murk, like cursing angels combining one word immediately followed by another, read as though they were plucked from a poetry-combo kit, Flarf Rulez, mix and match, a bit of this and that, smooth, and nicely spoken, the sort of poetry which is terribly nice, written by poets who you would love to give a hug, like a puppy.

[brief paralanguage moment, serious look, as if one is reciting something]

Unmoved by my genteel and kindly poem about nuclear cooling towers? Only a kill-joy and scoundrel would desire to voice an opinion contrary to the thoroughly decent idea that this poem is more than the parts suggest—how behind the surface it's saying something deep about how we live in the nuclear age, written by an intelligent and eloquent prize winner whose worth is there, measured in the silverware on the sideboard for all to know, and any who disagree, like this nasty Johnny F, [point into the crowd] sitting there, unimpressed and wanting to inject an opinion founded not on the jolly Cromwell, commander of The New Model Army, or spiffy King Charles the 1st, might just as well tear this whole cozy cartel down and get Bob Cobbing back to managing the bar finances.


Flarf Sux! TheTextAreAnswered, SoManyPrettyPictures! Flarf Sux. Kill the Bee Gees. All the words I have spoken thus far are based on the work of dummy and the armpits. WhaddaYa Think? Is the Angle of my angel preety, or tart? God I love this's so utterly ridiculous! it's hilarious!!!

Oh! and I have a Conceptual doodle thing like original print on sale for authentic "high end consumers," [hold up CREDIT] if there are actually any here among you, and if you're interested come see me after the panel.

Also, so, let me say, I agree with Stan Apps statement that my book, "CREDIT is an amazing lifeline for Conceptual Writing that expands and inflates it."

And in that spirit, I would like to announce Conceptual Writing's new sponsorship with Trojan Condoms and introduce you all to The New Trojan 2 Go Condom CREDIT Card as well as The New Trojan Magnum Ecstasy Condom for both the Ladiez and the Gentlemans.

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